Hey you!! Yes you! No, not you, YOU! The one sitting right there!
Have you ever wanted money?
Do you have no discernible skills whatsoever?
Do you breathe?
Well then YOU could be making Eighteen Trillion dollars right now, just like I did!!
Sound impossible?
If you email me right now, I mean RIGHT NOW. Don't even finish reading this sentence, email me first, and I will send you this blurb on how to make money just by breathing!
"This can't be real." you say.
Just shut up and send me the email already!!
(Sorry about that, need to back down the caffeine content.)
In this email you must include your name, age, birthdate, social security number, outstanding debts, likes, dislikes, yearly income, recent photo, and last year's income tax return.
If completed correctly, I will send you a link.
This is not any ordinary link.
This is a powerful link to untold riches, fame, fortune, and the key to free financial freedom.
This link will ramble on and on for pages, full of testimonials from untraceable people, saying how fabulously wealthy they are now, thanks to my program.
The most important thing you'll find in this link is another link.
This link will direct you to a link where I give you a PERSONAL LINK.
This is a very special personal link. It is meant for you and no one else.
This link has been set aside specifically for you since the day you were born.
I cannot possibly tell you what's in this link. It's like the Matrix, you cannot be told, you have to see it for yourself.
(Insert ominous music.)
Inside that link is a link to my bank account. (I accept, Visa, Mastercard, Diners club, Discover, Food stamps, SSI, Gold, Silver, and Platinum.)
All this can be yours for the low, low price of only $39 plus shipping.
But, if you act right now, before you even take another breath, I will send you another link for only an additional $39. The shipping is on me.
How can I afford to be so generous? Easy, my system works. I have personally made Eighteen Trillion dollars. And now, because I'm such a nice guy, I want to pass the secret on to you.
So don't delay, act now, I mean right now!! Run to your bank! I don't care if it's two in the morning, rob a convenience store if you have to, just GET ME MY MONEY!!
I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of seeing these scams in my inbox. Is every single one a scam? I don't know. Are there legitimate ways of making money on the internet? Sure. Are some of these companies on the level? They may exist. Honest politicians may exist, but I haven't seen one.
The truth is, if these people had really discovered the secret to easy wealth on the internet, why would they share it? Wouldn't they be creating their own competition? If I found a two ton Gold nugget, I wouldn't tell someone else where it was, I'd dig that puppy up and look for more of them. To continue the metaphor, these people dig up the gold, make sure there's no more around, then sell you a map to the site, saying that they found gold, and you can too.
P.T. Barnum would be proud. He would probably have his own web site, and be making millions of dollars a year, selling the internet's version of snake oil.
Anymore, I read these scams just for a laugh.
Just to make things clear. You will not make any money from this article.
It's debatable if you will make any money from any of these scams.
They will make money, selling you their so called 'secrets', but in the end, you'll end up with a bunch of very expensive downloads, and questionable content at best.
Good luck! (You'll need it)
